GREAT ARTICLE PASSED ALONG TO ME BY SMAD (SANDRA MADISON...A LADY I DO SOME INTERACTIVE WORK WITH...AT EMMIS INTERACTIVE)...
WE SPENT THE DAY AT GRANDMA & GRANDPA'S...WATCHING THE BEARS GAME...SNACKING ON MANY THINGS INCLUDING PRETZELS...WHICH UNCLE KYLE CALLS "CUBANS" OR "RODS", POPCORN, GOLD FISH, AND EVEN CIDER DOUGHNUTS...WHICH IS BY FAR...MY FAVORITE TYPE OF DOUGHNUT...
ALL IN ALL...IT WAS A PLEASANT OUTING...NO DEFENSE NEEDED...
www.chicagotribune.com/classified/realestate/chi-private-spaces_chomes_1002oct02,0,3387419.story
How homeowners find alone time in spaces they can call their own
By Leslie Mann
Special to the Tribune
October 2, 2009
Sam Martin has a suggestion for men who want to carve out their own spaces in their homes: Start a collection. The more testosterone-laden, the better. Vintage motorcycles, fishing lures or stuffed animal heads work well. "Then, your wife or girlfriend agrees it's time for you to have your own space," says Martin, author of "Manspace: A Primal Guide to Marking Your Territory."
Despite the supersizing of new houses, men are staking claim to their own spaces, report builders and architects. Ditto for women and children, although some men argue they already "have" the whole house.
Trace the compulsion back to the cardboard-box fort the average homeowner built as a child, says architect/author Sarah Susanka, whose "Not So Big House" series triggered a rethinking of new-home building. As adults, she says, box habitants find themselves in a roomy house with an open floor plan, but no privacy.
"Used to be, the female of the household had the sewing room and the male had the garage," recalls Susanka. "Then, all the spaces in the house became ambiguous."
The answer, says Susanka, is what she calls a poyo (place of your own), a version of which she includes in each of her Not So Big Architectural House Plans (sold through Houseplans.com). The adult cardboard box translates to a room or alcove that's away from family activities.
The greatest hurdle when acquiring a poyo, says Susanka, is not finding the space in a spare room, attic or basement. It is "giving yourself permission to have it," she says. "It isn't selfish. It isn't being anti-social. It's human nature. Everyone is calmer and there's less friction in the family if they have their own spaces."
Susanka's own poyo is a tiny book-lined writing room, sans telephone. "When I'm in there and the door is closed, my husband and my assistant know I want to be left alone," she says.
While DirecTV may suffice as a "portable man cave" for actor Charlie Sheen, most men want more. Typically, a Y-chromosome poyo serves one of the following purposes, says Martin: collecting, entertaining, playing, sporting or working. Martin's own space, a 165-square-foot shed he built in his back yard with "$3,000 and some back issues of This Old House," serves the latter. When Daddy is in this room, says Martin, his family leaves him alone.
In his book, Martin cites well-known examples of man spaces, such as Archie Bunker's chair and Hugh Hefner's bedroom/office. Elvis Presley's Graceland, he notes, had multiple man spaces, despite his living with his wife, mother and grandmother. "How he got the jungle room approved . . . boggles the mind," writes Martin.
Among ordinary folks, Martin found man spaces, including a bedroom-turned-bait shop, a cigar room with a commercial-grade ventilator, an attic recording studio, a rooftop observatory with a telescope that pops out of a hatch, a closet lined with signed baseballs and, of course, lots of sports bars.
When the National Association of Home Builders built a man space in its show house at its 2008 convention, it included a workshop with fine cabinetry, a beer dispenser and –– pay attention, men –– a urinal.
Dave McDonald of Warrenville has a guy space extraordinaire in his new Warrenville house. Designer Tracy Grosspietsch of Studio G Interiors in Chicago created an Irish pub in McDonald's lower level that includes stained glass, knotty-alder cabinetry, hand-hewn beams and coat hooks. The furnishings, which include a built-in booth, are comfortable but don't match, by intention, says Grosspietsch, so they reflect "a long-standing pub [with furnishings] brought in by successive generations."
"This is where I will host my friends for Bears games and Guinness beer," says McDonald.
When architect Frederick Wilson built his house in Wilmette in 2006, he gave himself a train room, where he says he can "forget about work and, well, the world." The third-floor room includes 200 feet of train tracks that Wilson accesses by climbing into the middle. "It's like the attic room I had when I was a kid for my trains, except this one is finished and has air conditioning!" he says. "It takes me back to simpler times. I go up there and, before I know it, it's 4 a.m."
Women's spaces tend to be solitary. So popular are meditation rooms, in fact, that Susanka has a link on her Web site, notsobiglife.com, for products such as the Cosmic Cushion and Zen Alarm Clock (with "gentle Tibetan bell-like chimes").
Joyce Joseph chose a jigsaw-puzzle room in her new Palos Park house. The mother of a toddler and an infant, she wanted a room where she could indulge in her favorite pastime without wee fingers interfering. Her interior designer, Ingrid Baltasi Design Inc. in Chicago, wrapped the semi-circular room with a window seat, then placed a puzzle table in the middle. Grass-cloth wallpaper and earth-toned fabrics create a "calm place," says Joseph. "The rest of the house -- even the master bedroom -- is one big play yard, but no kids or toys are allowed in this room." After hectic days with the kids, says Joseph, this is her retreat. "I need it. I deserve it," she admits.
Juggling graduate school and children, Anne Roberti sees the quilting room as her refuge in her new Barrington Hills house, which is under construction. The greatest challenge for her builder, Barrington-based Harris Builders LLC, she says, is to flood the room with natural light, but protect the shelved fabrics from sunlight. And, it must be large enough to house her professional long-arm quilting machine but small enough for supplies to be within reach. Will her family dare enter this room? "Not if they know what's good for them!" says Roberti.
Some lucky children have private spaces, too, in addition to their own bedrooms, report the builders.
A "No Trespassing" sign is a warning to girls (sisters, especially) who approach Jack Sullivan's loft-fort above his bedroom in his Wilmette house. Mom Molly Sullivan says the 11-year-old spends much of his time there, entertaining his buddies, doing his homework and shooting intruders with a Nerf gun.
The Sullivans' builder, Signature Properties of Illinois Ltd. in Glencoe, carpeted the space and equipped it with an electrical outlet for his radio and lamp.
"When we built the house, it was a pirate's cove," says Molly. "Now that he's a little older, it's the skybox at the Cubs game. It continues to change."
Despite the gender of its occupant, every poyo should have rules, say the experts. "You have control over the space," says Martin. "That means having an agreement with your significant other about who is allowed to clean it (within reason; the rotting cheeseburger has to go). And, it includes who decorates it."
"Forget the aesthetic police and fill your poyo with personal items that make you happy," suggests Susanka. "Paint the walls a color your spouse would never agree to. Write on the wall. There are no rules for this space other than your own preferences. It's your sacred place. It's where you can do what you want to do and be who you want to be."
The funny thing about poyos, adds Susanka, is many homeowners wait to create them until they believe they have time to use them. "In fact, it seems to work the other way around," she says. "If you make the space, the time will present itself."
